Good Evening TXK
I had an epiphany one day while watching an Oprah interview on YouTube. Maybe this sounds odd to some but growing up in a household with a mother who dished out Oprah and Dr. Phil quotes like they were pieces of Halloween candy, this was hardly anything out of the ordinary for me. In a 2011 interview, Rihanna tearfully told Oprah that the only way she could allow herself to be vulnerable enough to let a man romantically pursue her was by first “repairing her relationship with her dad.” After she forgave her father, she could finally work on trusting men again. This was a concept I found utterly fascinating.
For years, as Father’s Day would roll around, I would buck up and shuffle through the emotions while replaying the same tired, faulty script in my head, telling myself vehemently, “I do not hold resentment towards my dad for not being a part of my life since I was 14 years old. I have reflected and moved on from the years of abuse at his hands during my childhood, and not having an earthly father means nothing when I have Jesus, a ‘Father to the fatherless.’” I knew I wanted to believe this, but did I? Spoiler alert—not really.
A song came on in my car a few years ago that I didn’t mean to play, and it—once and for all—revealed to me the answer to those doubts. I could pretend to be tough and that I didn’t need a dad, until all the sudden I was transported back to being eight years old, sitting in the back seat of my dad’s car watching him from behind sing “Voice of Truth” by Casting Crowns. It’s a gorgeous worship song packed with so much truth. It induced tears streaming down my face, as I realized for the very first time, “WOW! Not having a present father in my life has truly affected me.”
I’ve had male influences through my grandparents, uncles, and teachers. Even until now, in my early adulthood, I have had men who have stepped up and offered to mentor me. Through tears, I would tell my mom that as much as I want to allow myself to grow close to them, I was afraid. When will they get bored of me? When will they realize I have nothing in common with them? When will they get frustrated or annoyed with me and back off? Through this, I’ve come to terms with the dangers of not healing old wounds.
My dad is an absolute genius—a brilliant musician. He can pick up any instrument and know how to play it in no time. He primarily played saxophone in bands across the country, including the famous MGM Grand in Las Vegas, where my parents grew roots for 14 years and my hometown. I just like to say I was born in Las Vegas. I think it’s really cool. People usually expect a story involving Elvis and a drive-thru chapel, but nope! It was just the music and neon lights.
My fondest memory of my dad was a New Year’s Eve night in San Antonio, Texas, where he had taken my brother Parker and me to one of his friend’s houses. We literally played music from after dinner ‘til two or three in the morning. It was fun, loud, spontaneous, and captured my dad’s colorful, boisterous personality. He shuffled from playing bongos, to guitar, to the sax. It was just us and a group of his friends in a circle making all kinds of beautiful sounds and music. It was so pure.
The sad thing about mental illness is that while those highs, like we experienced that New Year’s Eve, are really high, the lows are also really low. Unfortunately, the lows, more often than not, outweigh memories of the highs… especially when all offered help is rejected. For us, there came a time when we as kids could no longer handle the depths of the lows, putting us in harm’s way and because of that, we lost our relationship altogether.
I knew, though, that if I wanted to release my inability to trust any men who would enter my life in the future, I would have to begin with the first man, the source, the root cause of this pain. I didn’t just have to forgive my dad; I wanted to forgive him. I yearned for the experience Rihanna had, where “all kinds of emotions” rose to the surface after she made the choice to forgive her father. If Rihanna could do it, so could I!
God is well-known for bringing beauty from even the ugliest of circumstances. The beauty in this whole mess has been my dad’s precious new wife and her biological daughter, who my family absolutely adores. It was through my open communication with her that I retrieved my dad’s phone number. Eventually, I called to speak to him for the first time in ten years to tell him I forgave him, and that I wanted him to forgive himself, too.
I don’t blame my father. I blame this fallen world in which mental illness is a very real weapon of destruction the enemy uses to divide families and cause chaos. I choose empathy and compassion for him every day in order not to end up the bitter avenger of his shortcomings. Holding grudges is exhausting! I need to focus my energy on staying out of fast-food drive-thrus. The dad-sized hole in my heart began to shrink the day I forgave him, and it’s been a slow burn process ever since. From time to time, we have even managed to maintain a level of communication. As Kacey Musgraves says, “healing doesn’t happen in a straight line”, and it sure as heck doesn’t happen overnight!
When I think about my dad, I choose to focus on how I was blessed with part of his musical talent. I sing and play the guitar now. I inherited his exuberant personality. I also admire his fearlessness. He toured around the United States, and that must have been scary. He is a free spirit. When he is at his best, he’s funny, he’s creative, he can paint for days, he’s personable and social, he loves talking to people, and he is one of the most fun people I’ve ever known. Without him, there would be no me, and without me being me, I would have no connection to the Father to the fatherless, and the true lover of my soul, Jesus Christ. Moral of the story—living in resentment is torture. Choose redemption. You didn’t ask for your pain, but you can choose your healing. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.
LIVE MUSIC
June 1
TXK Jazz Collective
1923 Banana Club, 8 pm
June 6
Chace Rains
Fat Jacks Oyster & Sports Bar, 5 pm
June 7
David Howe & Will Bullock
Redbone Magic Brewing Company, 7 pm
June 22
Sophie & the New Relics
Redbone Magic Brewing Company, 7 pm
June 28
Lynch Mob
Fat Jacks Oyster & Sports Bar, 8 pm
June 29
The Gold Standard
1923 Banana Club, 8 pm
June 29
Don Louis
Crosssties Event Venue, 8:30 pm
LOCAL EVENTS
June 1
Tough Kookie Foundation Reggae Summerfest
Silvermoon on Broad
6-10 pm
June 1, 8, 15, 22, 29
Texarkana Texas Farmer’s Market
Courthouse Square
8 am-noon
June 1, 8, 15, 22, 29
Gateway Farmers’ Market
602 E. Jefferson
7 am-noon
June 4, 11, 18, 25
Teen Movies at the Texarkana Public Library
10 am
June 5, 12, 19, 26
Free Yoga
Southwest Center
5:30-6:30 pm
June 5, 12, 19, 26
Line Dancing Class
Texas Elks Lodge
6:30-8:30 pm
June 7
Hospice of Texarkana Good Grief Day for Community Youth
Landmark Pentecostal Church
10 am-2 pm
June 7, 14, 21, 28
Children’s Movies at the Texarkana Public Library
10 am & 2 pm
June 7 & 21
Food Truck Fridays
Courthouse Square
11 am-2 pm
June 8
Children’s Story Time with local author Cal Davis
Salty Boutique and Books
11 am
June 11
Silver 55+ Bingo
Texarkana Public Library
10 am
June 14-16
Runnin’ WJ Benefit Barrel Race
Four States Fairgrounds
June 14
Downtown Live!
6-9 pm
June 15
Miller Co. 4-H Shooting Sports Fundraiser
Rocky Creek Outdoors
9 am-12:30 pm
June 21
36th Annual Adult Juried Exhibition Opening Reception & Awards
6:30 pm
June 22
Communities Unlimited Cardboard Boat Race
Bobby Ferguson Park
10 am
SUMMER ACTIVITIES FOR KIDS
Summer is here, and it is time to find fun activities to keep the kids engaged and busy. Whether they love outdoor adventures, arts and crafts, robotics, or sports there are great local summer camps and Vacation Bible Schools available for a wide range of ages. Some of these programs are free, while others have a cost, so contact the camps for more information.
Local Summer Camps
May 28-Aug 9
Weekly Summer Camp at the Clubs
Texarkana and Northridge Country Clubs
9 am-3 pm
June 3-July 26
St. James Day School Spartan Kids Camps
Morning sessions 7:45 am-12:30 pm
Afternoon sessions 12:30-5:30 pm
Full day available
June 3-July 26
St. James Tech Know Camps
Morning session 8 am-noon
Afternoon session 1-5 pm
Full day available
June 3-6
Texarkana College Kids’ College
Morning Sessions 9-11 am
Afternoon Sessions 1-3 pm
June 3-6
TISD Vex GO Robotics Camp
8:30-11:30 am
June 3-15
TexRep’s Finding Nemo Jr. Drama Camp
9-10:30 am (grades K-2)
10:30 am-noon (grades 3-5)
1-3:15 pm (grades 6-12)
June 4
Little Kids Camp with First Baptist Texarkana
8 am-3:30 pm (grade 1)
June 5
Little Kids Camp with First Baptist Texarkana
8 am-3:30 pm (grade 2)
June 4-6
Cats/Dog Art Wall Camp
Texarkana Regional Arts Center
10-11:30 am (grades 1-3)
June 4-6
Cats/Dog Art Wall Camp
Texarkana Regional Arts Center
1-3 pm (grades 4-6)
June 10-July 19
Kidtastic Kamp
Texarkana Arkansas Parks & Recreation Department
9 am-4 pm
June 10-13
TISD Vex IQ Robotics Camp
8:30-11:30 am
June 11-12
TISD Cooking 101 Camp
9-11 am
June 13-14
TISD Cooking 101 Camp
9-11 am
June 17-21
WinShape Camp
Red Lick ISD
8:15 am-5 pm
June 17-21
Silvermoon Children’s Theatre Camp
10 am-2:30 pm
June 18-20
Camp Create
Texarkana Regional Arts Center
10-11:30 am (grades 1-3)
1-3 pm (grades 4-6)
June 18-20
Preschool Camp
First Baptist Church Texarkana
9 am-noon
June 21-24
Kids Camp with First Baptist Texarkana
Overnight at Lakeview Baptist Church
June 24-27
TISD Battlebots Camp
8:30 am-3:30 pm
June 24-28
Silvermoon Children’s Mini Show Camp
10 am-2:30 pm
June 24-28
Cosmic Artventures at The Gallery 1894
9:30-11 am (ages 5-8)
1-3 pm (ages 8-12)
July 8-12
Silvermoon Children’s Mini Show Camp
10 am-2:30 pm
July 8-12
TAMU-T Young Writers’ Workshop
8 am-noon
July 22-25
Silvermoon Children’s STARter Camp
10-11 am
Summer Sports Camps
June 3-4
TISD Girls Basketball Camp
9 am-noon (grades K-4)
1-4 pm (grades 5-9)
June 3-4
TISD Golf Camp
9-11 am (grades 1-4)
1-3 pm (grades 5-8)
June 3-5
PGISD Boys Basketball Camp
1-2:30 pm (grades 2-5)
2:30-4 pm (grades 6-9)
June 3-5
PGISD Softball Camp
3:30-5 pm (grades 7-9)
5:30-7 pm (grades 4-6)
June 4 & 6
TISD Swim Camp
5:30-6:30 pm
June 4-5
TISD Baseball Camp
10 am-noon
June 5-6
TISD Tennis Camp
10-11:30 am (grades 1-5)
1-2:30 pm (grades 6-8)
June 10-11
TISD Boys Basketball Camp
9-11 am (grades K-4)
Noon-2 pm (grades 5-8)
June 10-12
PGISD Volleyball Mini Camp
5-6 pm (grades K-3)
June 10-12
PGISD Football Camp
6-7:30 pm
June 10-12
PGISD Volleyball Camp
6-7:30 pm (grades 4-9)
June 10-13
Red Lick Volleyball Camp
8-10 am (grades 5-6)
10:30-12:30 am (grades 7-8)
*must be enrolled in RLISD
June 17-18
TISD Softball Camp
9-11 am (grades 1-5)
Noon-2 pm (grades 6-9)
June 17-18
PGISD Girls Basketball Camp
1-2:30 pm (grades 2-9)
June 17-19
PGISD Baseball Camp
Noon-2 pm (grades K-9)
June 19-20
PGISD Cross Country Camp
7-8:30 am (grades K-6)
June 24-28
Challenger International Soccer Camps
8-8:45 am (ages 3-5)
9 am-noon (ages 6-14)
July 15-19
Challenger International Soccer Camps
8-8:45 am (ages 3-5)
9 am-noon (ages 6-14)
July 22-25
Red Lick Basketball Camp
8-10 am (grades 1-2)
10 am-noon (grades 3-5)
1-3 pm (grades 6-8)
*must be enrolled in RLISD
July 22-23
TISD Volleyball Camp
9 am-noon (grades 5-7)
1-4 pm (grades K-4)
July 24-25
TISD Volleyball Camp
9 am-noon (grades 8-9)
July 29-30
TISD Football Camp
5-7 pm (grades K-5)
July 30-August 2
TISD Cross Country Camp
6:30-8:30 am
5:30-7 pm
July 31-August 1
TISD Football Camp
5-7 pm (grades 6-8)
Vacation Bible Schools
June 3-7
Liberty-Eylau Baptist Church
9 am-noon
June 9-13
Trinity Baptist Church
6-8 pm
June 10-14
Northern Hills Baptist Church
8 am-noon
June 24-28
First Baptist Church Wake Village
9 am-2 pm
June 24-26
First United Methodist Church Texarkana, Arkansas
9 am-noon
July 22-25
Williams Memorial United Methodist Church
5:30-7:30 pm
